Walk away

I don't know what it was that made me myself to be the way I do...
This crazy feeling coming from deep inside
You walked away..I refused to say final goodbye
It hurts...and tears dropped because of you.
What could it be...
My heart is still dumbing your name is so badly that I cant sleep nights
Loving you has made me stronger, and for that you have
my heart and break it as many times as you what
I'll still give it right back
because it belongs with the love of my life.

Signing off,

Karen

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Suddenly I am feeling not so well.

feel like vomiting :(

I had just taken two panadols and my cough med.

Starting to worry one issue now...

that caused me dare not to do my body check up!

I slept more than 10hours since last night

somehow, I am still feeling very tired.

Things just happened under my expectation.

although I am seriously upset with it.

BUT

there's ntg much I can do on it

except to wait for miracle.

urghhhhhhhh

about the issue I am worrying now...

I don't know what to do...

!@#$%^&*(_)(*&^%$#!@^&*#$%^&*

Shall off to bed now.

TOODLESS!

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Flying without Wings

1. University
-PM midterm was okay! I didn't study much somehow I still managed to answer them although some questions are difficult too :) It's week 7 next week...finals in less than one month!..I forget my UTAR email user name and password..I can't verify my stuff. DEEP SHYTE!:(

-Meeting for dance club event was held last nyte. The process of it was good. We came out with the theme,slogan and the whole concept of the event. Its gonna be on next year March.

2. Ipoh
-went down to Ipoh like twice y'day! 1st,sent Joelyn to bus station. We came back supposed to have singing session but it was full house then headed back to Ipoh instead for the sake of singing and did a lil shopping at Jusco since it's sales now BUT I still went home with EMPTY hands.

3.Escape
-Lol! :) went a lil escape to Phebe's house last nyte with Ally! Stayed over at her place, chit-chatted the whole night and watched an useful knowledge documentary.HAHAHA! I am the 1st one who falled asleep. Slept for only 4hours. It was cool :)

4.Happybird
-Something makes me so happy last nyte. FOR REAL! :)due to an apparent reason! Thankz! I am glad for that.

5. New Moon

-Watched it with my babes [KarNing,Amie andd Sam]..I rated it 6/10 for this movie. When I was watching the movie, it makes me thinking of you thru out the whole movie. I got impressed with Bella on how much she loves Edward although he is a vampire. She is willing to sacrifice anything just for him just to see him. Thats so sweet of her...Jacob is soo HOT,I must say :D

6. DAY12

Will I ever see you again? I miss you so much
and I love you more than anything, Id give up my whole world just to be with you.
I look back on all the good times, And when we used to be together,
but it makes me cry. I dont know where this is heading,
But whatever happens, I still dont wanna say our final goodbye
Ive never felt this way about anyone before
Your my everything and I just want you to know
that I miss you, and I love you <3>

Love,

[Karen]

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Rainbow

You were on my mind when i woke up this morning
remembering your smile and laugh
I guess the next time i'll see your face
will not be happen anytime soon or maybe not
I was remembering your arms around me
love the way they always feel warm
with you by my side
I completely feel no harm
I was remembering your voice
makes my heart skip a beat
but without you baby
my whole body's weak
I was remembering our times
the good and the bad
the funny times when you cheered me up
and especially the sad
remembering your eyes
how they always meet mine
remembering all the little things you do
to make my life worthwhile
One more hour to go..
and I hate the day has come..
I wonder what would you name it for this time.
Everything has just leave as memories!
I'm missing you more than i usually do.

Truly yours,

Karen

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Love will never lie

I am dating with my *International Marketing* text book at the moment...

Supposed to do my tutorial for tomorrow's class...

but the case study is about 2 pages long....mygod!

brain stuck now....so decided to update my blog! hahahaa! :)

I skipped today's lecture..and just back came back from Ipoh a couple hours ago.

met up with Phebe and Ally just now!

Planned to have a lil escape again for this week. Hopefully its ON!..

and exam timetable is out.

WOHOO! my last paper is on the 16th of Dec..

Its a week before Christmas. Therefore, we can go ahead to plan further with our Singapore trip already!Thats de best news ever!

oh yeah, I am proud of myself today.

I didnt do something that I am not supposed to do.

(For only those who knows what issit about)

Hopefully it will last at least A WEEK! that will be cool enough!

Although, I am suffering from it.DANG!.

still having cough. Mum finally bought me the cough syrup.

it tasted so bitter.Ewwwwww..

but I love my MUM so much, she make me orange juice after I drank the cough syrup

so its taste better after that. HAHAHA!

Mum asked me to go for body check this week, probably during the weekends

cos I am down with all sort of sickness within two weeks.

Probably need to admit hospital.This is the most shyte thing ever.

I lost 1kg this week..but I am still looking the same.

I wonder is the weight machine lie on me.LAME!

There will be a PM midterm on Wednesday

8 chapters and I havent start a single thing.so great!

finals in less than 3 weeks. even great!

and I will be having one month holidays...so its the GREATEST!..LOL!

It's 23.43pm now.Shall off to bed soon.

tmrw class at 8am..

I bet this time it wont be cancelled anymore.

Updates more tmrw.Toodlesss!

xoxo

Karen

p/s: You're always in my heart

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It's complicated

Things are getting complicated. I am not sure about it,but I have the feeling on it that is TRUE!

Please stop bull shitting me.Trust me,if you like it. Fuck it, if you don't!

Stuck here, feeling lost...with NO direction.

I live in a life with NO choice.

WHY?

No one can understand how do I feel right now.

Everyone choose to leave me behind especially YOU!...

Besides that..

I just got to know that my brothers and sister in law are leaving back to UK in Jan!..

At the same time, I am going back to my childhood life with no siblings around

As all of them were in UK at the moment and I seldom meet them or even talk to them

untill when I was in form4 and 5..thy came back..and we spent more time together with family.

Therefore, I don't have much memories with them when I was young.

I can't wait for year 2010 to come...

I really hate this year...

It's totally not a good year to me..

Wishing 2010 will be a better year!......

Whatever it is,live still goes on!

p/s: I still love you like I always do.(to believe it or not..it's ur choice)

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Dream

Everyday I am looking forward to receive sms or calls from you but somehow whenver the phone rings but it will ended up with dissapointed. Excatly one week, we broke up. I am still clearly remembered every single words you told me last week at this moment. How much you hurts me...I can't even let it go for a second till now.....no matter how much I party everynight...alcohol has been my best buddies throughout the whole week..and my best addict.

Life just sucks now. BUT I believe time will heal.somehow I am telling myself its time to let go..I just can't. I am trying very hard here...as for now, I am doing fine...glad that I still have friends around to give me the great company ever throughout the week. Thanks for everything,my biatches! <3

Finally, I am done with all sort of assignment. Pengajian Malaysia gave me a big headache on it. I starting to hate BM alot..as I seriously sucks in it already after didn't study BM for so many years ever since graduated from high school. Whatever it is, it's over...finals will be in less than one month....

Christmas is in next month! any plans?! give me your suggestions..

Shall update more in next post.

Off now...

Toodless!

Karen,xoxo!

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Last episode

1. I am officially broke up with Ivan.[25.07.2009-14.11.2009] It's only 3months plus so yay!

For those who really know what had happened, thanks for being concern. (you know who you're).Sorry for making you guys worried abt me as well.I'm doing fine now although everything is being so fucked up to me.

2. Skipped two days of classes.Assignment not done. Flunked my midterm.GREAT!

3. Went for movie 2012. rated 8/10.

4. 8hours of singing session was awesommeee. but I cried when I sang some of your fav songs.

5. Down with whole package of sickness. AND I still not recover yet. DANNNGGG!

6. Too much of alcohol these few days. I can't think of anything else I can do in order to let you go.

7. Wanted to have a lil escape from this town.but where and when?

8. Karning and Sam will be back in less than 24hours. I miss them!

9. I didnt eat anything up to now and I dont even feel hungry.

10. I MISS HIM!

truly yours,

Karen

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Dear Ivan,

I viewed your fb profile number of times today and I realised your love zodiac is so true about you and I totally agreed on it.

1) You are an exciting person to fall in love with.

-A boyfriend who loves to go shopping with me as well :) Remember our crazy shopping session at Pavilion during my 2 weeks sem break in KL. It was great.

2)Your partner will feel lucky to be in love with you.

-Thank you, God for giving you to be a part in my life. You motivated me in lotsa things (you know what issit) and it makes me to be a better person in life.

3)You have a good sense of humor.

-At times, you can sense what I want..it seems like you can read my mind.Even the next step,what I wanna do.

4)Your sweetheart will never feel bored with you.

-YES! you always make me laugh with all your jokes and all sort of your madnessityy! All sort of craziness stuff we did when we were in Genting or even during working in Midvalley.

5)You are a very caring person.

-There is once, I hitted by the car and the very 1st thing you as

ked me to apply ice on my hand and consult the doc if needed. You din bother to ask me what excatly has happened. Cos you told me that, what caused it, is NOT important anymore...to solve my injuries is de MOST important one so that you wont worry about me. I was totally impressed.

6)You like to flirt with the opposite sex.

-As for this, you have lotsa *scandal* in college. You told me you have this so called *wife* and also some sweet callings too. I dont feel jealous, cos all I trust and have faith on is YOU!...

7)The opposite sex likes you because of your creative and innovative ideas.

-This is shown how you created your ur facebook group,HKF!..

8)You are very loyal to your loved one and do not leave their side whatever be the case.

-I saw you wrote this on your blog before..and I believe you're!

9)You are sensitive and emotional.

-When you're not in the mood or thinking of something SERIOUS..you would love to listen to TRANCE music! I know its your favorite type of songs and it will bring you back happiness.

10)You like to surprise your beloved with something or the other.

-I still remembered how you surprised me by all the way came back from KL and came down to Kampar during my exam day. You wore your yellow topman shirt and newly bought topman pants and brought me the purple top from Topshop :) So sweet of you!

AND

Loving you makes me laugh and smile at the same time ,it makes my heart warm, it gives me life. There is nothing else I want,except YOU!...

I LOVE YOU!

xoxo

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1. Pengajian Malaysia lecture class tomorrow is cancelled :) yeah! I dont have to wake up early tomorrow. LOL!

2. Feeling extremely tired due to badminton session last night. I injured my hand and it still pains till now :( sighh! didn't warm up 1st.thats why la!

3. As for dinner, we went to Shark..an ice cafe! more like dessert cafe..and it famous for mini steamboat. It cost only rm8 comes with the mini steamboat,a bowl of rice and a glass of ice black tea! Cheap thou yet its not bad too. I ordered the garlic milk flavor.AWESOME! Now I prefer black tea rather than the normal tea. It taste better :)

4. The owner of the shop has this big dog,named *shu tiew*..means FRIES in English. So cute right,the name? LOL!

5. I'm having a very weird feeling now. Supposed to be a lil upset but I'm glad myself can act nothing although I know i will be feeling dissapointed due to you can't make it for this weekends.Somehow, there is NO choice for me. I am SERIOUSLY hate the timing. I pray to God,that YOU can put us in a better way! I wish there is someone who can understand how I feels now. WEIRD!

5. It's my boyfriend's housemate,HEW TAU HON birthday today! Happy Sweet 19th birthday! Wishing you have a blast on this wonderful day and your DREAMS(you know what right) will come trueee.Enjoy your last teenage year :) 11112009 sucha wonderful day! you OWE me a treat.ROFL! :)

The birthday boy holding two carlsberg as his birthday present. HAHA!

Love,

"When you are in Love ,you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."

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Life and Death

What does life and death mean to you?

This week is my saddest week in my entire of life.

I lost a good friend of mine, James :(

As most you peoples know, this news[3 Utarians has drowned at the Waterwall]

has been the biggest shocked to everyone/

especially to Utarians in Kampar.

Life is really unpredictable.

I still remember the last conversation with James.

We promised to update each other more once I got back from KL.

Unfortunetly, no longer I have the chance to do so.

Up to now, I still couldn't accept that you have leave us behind.

Everyday, I checked on your fb acc..and your blog.

I hope there is a miracle..

but I know it's IMPOSSIBLE!

Anyway, James..

I appreciated alot for what you have done for me.

You have been a really good friend to me..

and I will never forget that how much you helped me in my studies in uni.

You will always be remembered.

R.I.P,James!

Lastly,

I miss my boyfriend.

(most of my friends said he looks like korean/japanese guy)so cute right?

Excatly one week, I didn't see him.

I am still counting down to the day that I will meet him again,

which I have no idea when it will be as well.

We had blast last week..

went to Genting and spent 2days 1 night.

the karaoke session was crazy

and we had a good lunch buffet too.

Everything was great whenever I am with him.

LDR is an't easy thing for me..

Somehow, I am trying very hard to go through it..

I love you're so strong,thats rare.

I love you show how you care.

I cannot say, I cannot see

no future is given guarantee

BUT

I promised I will never leave you behind. I hope you do as well :)

till then I just know one thing,

I love all the joy you bring!<3

Here are fews of my favorite pics...

xoxo

Karen

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